COD Disneyland Date Night

Remember when Lindsay talked about making regular date nights? And you know how we've been talking about being intentional in our parenting and relationships. Well here's your chance to start the summer off right!

I know a number of us have annual passes, so before many of us are blocked out for the summer (at the suggestion of the lovely Kara Gray) we're planning a COD Disneyland Date Night.

All you have to do is take your significant other and head down to Disneyland on May 8th. Come early or stay late (Disneyland will be open till midnight) , come after work or ditch early, but be sure to meet at the castle at 8pm for a COD Disneyland Date Night group photo.

Before and after you're welcome to wander the park to your hearts content with your bestest COD buds or just your significant other. Grab dinner at the Blue Bayou, catch the fireworks show at 9:25 or just loose your voice on Screamin' in California Adventure.

If you have one be sure to wear your COD Relationships of Purpose black sweatshirt. If you don't have one, I think we still have a few available for purchase if you'd like to pick one up (check with me).

This is not a GUM only event, but I know this is a great way to start getting the word out. If this is a hit, we'll do it or other events like it again!

Joy in the Lord

I went with two friends this weekend to another church's retreat. (Yes, I know that can seems scandalous.) But it was so fabulous! We had a great time getting refreshed in the word, refreshed in our friendships, refreshed in our emotional beings, refreshed in our physical bodies. I loved the time to myself, the time with girlfriends, the time to sleep in, the time to read a magazine, the time to get a massage, the time to eat extravagent food, the time to party with girls young and old(er) and the time to study God's word.

Its been rather crazy around here the last 6 months. And so I was skeptical when I realized the topic was Joy. Joy in the Lord, even in struggles, sounded nearly impossible. Is it sounding impossible to you too? Let me share an illustration with you.

Have you read or seen a giraffe give birth?
First of all there's no comfort measures taken to ease this newborn into the world. Mama giraffes give birth standing up, and the baby falls close to 6 feet as it emerges into the world. No soft landing here. After mama gives the baby a quick bath, she begins kicking her young until they remain standing. Kick after kick until the baby stays on its feet. Harsh? Perhaps, but if the baby doesn't immediately rise, its at risk to attack from predators who'd love a snack.

Sometimes I feel like that baby giraffe. I'm just trying to figure things out, and I keep getting kicked. How about you? Is there something that keeps knocking you down?

Romans:5:3-53
3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

This weekend was a great reminder to be thankful, even in the midst of chaos, because thankfulness will lead to joy in the Lord. Are you joyful? Biblical joy is happiness of the heart. It is knowing Jesus Christ has forgiven us, and loves us, and is preparing us for service and for Him. Even when it isn't comfortable.

Philippians 4:4-6
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

So whatever you have going on, take 10 minutes and come up with 5 things to be thankful for in whatever it is that's stressing you out right now. Five things you can thank the Lord for. And as you do, remember He's soverign and He loves you. Then give Him the situation you're having trouble with right now. Whatever it is that's breaking your heart, give it to Him. Keep giving thanks for your situation, and as you do you'll find joy in the Lord.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Self Esteem for Toddlers & Preschoolers

A few weeks ago, Crystal Wigglesworth shared with us about Self-Esteem. Thanks Crystal for sharing so openly your personal story! Below are some notes she gave me to post here. This is really great stuff. It may take you a few minutes to read through it, but your children's self-esteem will blossom because you took the time to Grow Up Mom a little bit today.


Nurturing your toddler and preschooler's self-esteem.
Self-esteem comes from having a sense of belonging, believing that we're capable, and knowing our contributions are valued and worthwhile. The goal as a parent is to ensure that your child develops pride and self-respect — in themselves and in their cultural roots — as well as faith in their ability to handle life's challenges.

Give unconditional love. A child's self-esteem flourishes with the kind of no-strings-attached devotion that says, "I love you, no matter who you are or what you do." Your child benefits the most when you accept them for who they are regardless of their strengths, difficulties, temperament, or abilities. So lavish them with love. Give them plenty of cuddles, kisses, and pats on the shoulder. And don't forget to tell them how much you love them. When you do have to correct your child, make it clear that it's their behavior — not them — that's unacceptable. For instance, instead of saying, "You're naughty! Why can't you be good?" say, "Pushing isn't nice. It can hurt. Please don't push."

Pay attention. Carve out time to give your preschooler your undivided attention. That does wonders for your child's self-worth because it sends the message that you think they are important and valuable. It doesn't have to take a lot of time; it just means taking a moment just long enough to answer a question. Make eye contact so it's clear that you're really listening to what they are saying. When you're strapped for time, let your child know it without ignoring their needs.

Teach limits. Establish a few reasonable rules for your preschooler. For instance, if you tell your child they have to eat their snack in the kitchen; don't let them wander around the house with their snack the next day. Knowing that certain family rules are set in stone will help them feel more secure. It may take constant repetition on your part, but they will start to live by your expectations soon enough. Just be clear and consistent and show them that you trust them to do the right thing.

Support healthy risks. Encourage your child to explore something new, such as trying a different food, finding a best pal, or riding a bike. Though there's always the possibility of failure, without risk there's little opportunity for success. So let your child safely experiment, and resist the urge to intervene. For instance, try not to "rescue" them if they are showing mild frustration at figuring out a new toy. Even jumping in to say, "I'll do it" can foster dependence and diminish your child's confidence. You'll build his self-esteem by balancing your need to protect them with their need to tackle new tasks.

Let mistakes happen. The flip side, of course, of having choices and taking risks is that sometimes your child is bound to make mistakes. These are valuable lessons for your child's confidence. So if your child puts their plate too close to the edge of the table and it tips, encourage them to think about what they might do differently next time. That way their self-esteem won't sag and they will understand that it's okay to make mistakes sometimes. When you goof up yourself, admit it. Acknowledging and recovering from your mistakes sends a powerful message to your child — it makes it easier for your child to accept their own shortcomings.

Celebrate the positive. Everyone responds well to encouragement, so make an effort to acknowledge the good things your child does every day within their earshot. Be specific. Instead of saying "Good job," say, "Thank you for waiting so patiently in line." This will enhance their sense of accomplishment and self-worth and let them know exactly what they did right.

Listen well. If your child needs to talk, stop and listen to what they have to say. They need to know that their thoughts, feelings, desires, and opinions matter. Help them get comfortable with their emotions by labeling them. Say, "I understand you're sad because you have to say bye to your school pals." By accepting their emotions without judgment, you validate their feelings and show that you value what they have to say. If you share your own feelings ("I'm excited about going to the zoo"), they will gain confidence expressing their own.

Resist comparisons. Comments such as "Why can't you be more like your sister?" or "Why can't you be nice like your friend Tom?" will foster shame, envy, and competition. Even positive comparisons, such as "You're the best player" are potentially damaging because a child can find it hard to live up to this image. If you let your child know you appreciate them for the unique individual they are, they will be more likely to value themselves too.

Offer empathy. If your child compares themselves unfavorably to their siblings or peers ("Why can't I catch a ball like Sophia?"), show them empathy and then emphasize one of their strengths. For instance, say, "You're right. Sophia is good at catching. And you're good at painting pictures." This can help your child learn that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and that they don’t have to be perfect to feel good about themselves.

Provide encouragement. Every child needs the kind of support from loved ones that signals, "I believe in you. I see your effort. Keep going!" Encouragement means acknowledging progress — not just rewarding achievement. An example of this is; if your preschooler is struggling to fasten his snaps, say, "You're trying very hard and you almost have it!" instead of "Not like that. Let me do it."
There's a difference between praise and encouragement. One rewards the task while the other rewards the person ("You did it!" rather than "I'm proud of you!"). Praise can make a child feel that they are the only "good" if they do something perfectly. Encouragement, on the other hand, acknowledges the effort. "Tell me about your drawing. I see that you like purple" is more helpful than saying, "That's the most beautiful picture I've ever seen." Too much praise can sap self-esteem because it can create pressure to perform and set up a continual need for approval from others. So dole out the praise with caution and offer encouragement liberally; it will help your child grow up to feel good about themselves.