One. Step. At. A. Time

There are many things I do not like about having a disability, but every once in a while, I use it to my advantage. When I need to decompress, take a moment to myself, shut the world out, I take out my hearing aids.  Then ... silence.  Complete silence.  This is me, at my most vulnerable point.  This is where I say "okay, here I am, coming to You, laying everything at Your feet".  When life gets overwhelming.  When I feel stuck.  When the little one is waking up 3-4 times a night screaming his head off & I feel so helpless because I cannot figure out why. When finances are rough. When insecurity, jealously, greed, or bitterness rears its ugly head.  When my heart is heavy with hurt.  I take off my hearing aids, meet God at my most vulnerable point, and pour it all out.  

I do not walk away with answers.  I do not walk away with everything solved.  All that I pour out at His feet, it's all still there.  There is not always some great spiritual awakening or revelation. I do not walk away convicted & ready to tackle everything.  My heart may still be heavy and burdened. Tears may still be flowing from my eyes.  

I do walk away with the knowledge that I am not alone.  My God is with me & for me. He is there, walking besides me. one. step. at. a. time.  That is all He asks of us.  To walk with Him in all we do.  That knowledge, that reassurance, gives me peace & strength.  Just one. step. at. a. time.

Too many times I try to do it all on my own.  When I allow myself to take out my hearing aids and become vulnerable, I let down my many walls & simply lay it all out at His feet.  He never fails to meet me there.  

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.
Then what could stand against.

Chris Tomlin - Our God