Strong Willed Children

As I read Amie's post the other day - Train Up A Child - my heart went out to all the moms who have those wonderfully strong willed children. My heart goes out to them because I am a mom of a wonderfully strong willed child! If you have been at my GUM table or been a part of my HUB group, I have shared the struggles of raising my oldest, and you will also know how sensitive I can be when we go through hard times with him.

Currently, we are on the 'other end' and seeing the reward and results of those hard years of parenting our strong willed child. {this is an ongoing parenting challenge, I'm illustrating that we are seeing the rewards and realizing that we must have done something right, with God's guidance!}  It started at 18 months and I was not seeing any progress or encouragement until around 4 1/2 years old (he's 5 now).

Those 'early' years were hard and full of desperate prayers.  I read parenting books - Dare To Discipline, Creative Correction, The Strong Willed Child, and Bringing Up Boys. Each book left me discouraged and wondering why I was still struggling with my child.  People gave me advice on what worked for their children and surprise, what worked for their children was not working for mine! Many times, too many to count, I left a play date, the park, store, church, you name it with tears streaming down my face because my child was not behaving. Was it embarrassing? Yes. Did I take it personally and berate myself, telling myself it was my fault? Absolutely. I felt like a terrible mother who had no control over her stubborn, strong willed, energetic child, and surely everyone must think the exact same thing. I felt judged and became defensive.

I am not here to give advice. I am not here to placate you. I am here to say "There will be a day, someday, when you realize that your strong willed child is maturing and making better choices. You will look back & see that the battles have lessened.  You may cry out of the sheer wonder that God has been answering those desperate prayers, even when you could not see it."

Almost two years ago, I posted my first blog for GUM. Two years ago, I clung desperately to this saying. Tears flowed as I tucked this into my heart and prayed that God would continue to walk with me & guide me as I struggled with raising a child who seemed determined to defy me at every turn, who lacked impulse control, and no discipline was working. I honestly wondered at the end of those hard days, does he know how much I love him, when I've been so frustrated and upset with him all day? Now, almost two years later, through challenges and trials, God has been showing me that ... absolutely, yes. I am the perfect mother for my children.

Dear mommas in the midst of the hard days with your strong willed children, hold tight to this. Cling to this. I promise, again, there will be a day when you see all your hard work and desperate prayers being answered.

"This is your life - and you - you are the perfect mother for those children. God knew when he blessed those kids to you."

*I want you to know there are still times that are hard when boundaries are tested and defiance is rampant. The most recent was the transition from end of school to summer. Yeesh. That was fun.*