Today was our first official day of summer. My oldest got out of school on the 9th, my middle was finishing up summer camp the next day & the following week was VBA. The next two weeks we have swim lessons. Add that to my youngest getting sick & being up half the night the last three nights ... I'm tired.
I know myself - I knew I was going to get burnt out because I have been going nonstop. Due to this, I tried to plan ahead. I told myself I would get up at 5:30 - do my quiet time, unload the dishwasher or run a load of laundry & generally just be awake when my boys got up. I started two weeks ago & I have managed to do this ... three times.
Sweet friends, it is the FIRST DAY OF SUMMER AND I AM DONE. I am weary. I am worn out. I declared loudly yesterday when I had all three boys hanging on me and clamoring for my attention, "I AM TOUCHED OUT!" For you mommas whose children have been on summer break longer than mine, I can only imagine that you are weary too. {I feel that I should add we've been busy and there has yet to be a day at home where we all stay in pajamas, watch more tv than usual, laze around, all that kind of stuff. I'm sure I'll recharge if we ever get a day like that anytime soon}.
Knowing I would feel this way, I picked up a devotional called Hope for the Weary Mom Devotional. I looked up scripture for the weary mom. I found a prayer (literally called the Weary Mom prayer, from the devotional). I looked up blog posts that encouraged the weary mom. I wanted to have these resources on hand for the days when I am just ... done. When I notice my tone becoming sharper, my patience becoming thinner, and exhaustion kicking in around 3 pm.
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June 28th:
I still remain touched out some days. I am still weary some days. I somehow manage to get up around 5:30 *most* every day (I have NO IDEA how I am doing this) Due to my youngest being 'quarantined' for over a week it gave us plenty of time to be home & my weary soul needed that. At first I was panicked at how I would survive a whole week at home with little social interaction, but my mom came by, mother in law was here for a visit and my nephew was born, so I was able to fulfill that social part of me.
Along with Hope for the Weary Mom devotional , I started reading the book Hope for the Weary Mom. There was a chapter in the book that, to me, was so incredibly freeing and helped me release some of the standards I hold myself to. I got so very excited and was chattering away about it to my husband and sweet man he is, tried to be interested but his mind was elsewhere in project mode. You see, he's a doer. I'm a relator. I will explain this later.
Chapter 2 of Hope for the Weary Mom is titled "When You're Caught in What You're Not". We've all been there - looked at our weaknesses and compared them to someone else's strengths. This has been something I have struggled with for years. I felt like my weaknesses were just pointed out again and again, with nary any mention of my strengths. When I try to list my strengths, I come across as self deprecating. Rarely can I say "I'm good at this and here's why". It's more of 'yeah I'm good at this but OH MAN I AM SO BAD at blah blah blah".
In this chapter, they talk about the introvert/extrovert aspects of the personality, but they add in relator/doer. My mother is a doer. She's fast and she gets things done. If I need something, she's there and she dives in. My husband is a doer. He can stay home for the day while I'm out and when I come back, things are done. What the what?! It used to aggravate me to no end and make me feel like a failure that these two people clearly had something I did not. Why am I so bad at doing what they do - tackling things and just getting it done?
I notice all the doers in my friendships. The ones who just get it done. The moms who just seem to be on top of everything and aren't frantically texting another mom "is this today? I can't find my paper & forgot to put it on my calendar. WHAT IS TODAY!?" I see my weakness (not a doer), and their strength (a doer) and I berate myself for not being like them. Surely I would be a better person if I was a doer. My house would be cleaner, I would tackle all the things on my to do list (instead of just writing a to do list so I felt like I was a doer - never mind that most of it never gets checked off). Ladies, I have spent years trying to be someone I am not. I have spent years trying to turn my weakness into my strength. I can't. It's not how God made me. I am simply NOT a doer.
In contrast, I am a relator. I would much rather talk than tackle the dishes in the sink. It drives my mom bonkers (sorry Mom) that I am seriously standing over a sink of dirty dishes, talking away and not even bothering to do them. I crave relationships & relating to people. I stop in the middle of something if a quick text turns into a conversation. I love meeting up and connecting with friends, checking in with how they are doing. I love writing and reading. I tend to get emotionally invested in characters when I read books (which is why I hardly read anymore b/c I just can't put a book down and thus ignore my children while I'm reading). That is who God created me to be and I am slowly but surely learning that it is my strength. I cannot be someone I am not, no matter how hard I try.
This excerpt from the book reminded me of our lovely GUM group:
In our little group of friends, the people we do community with on a daily basis, there's a crafty mom, a servant mom, a musical mom and a teacher mom. All of the areas that best define my weaknesses are represented in this group. That makes us a powerhouse.
I could look at these women, each of whom is gifted at something totally different than me, and wish I could be more like them. I could spend my days wishing I could do a great job at reaching the hearts of my boys and be the fun mom. Or I could spend my days being thankful that God has surrounded me with friends who bring variety to my life. They fill my gaps, and that's an amazing gift from God. Why? Because we weren't meant to do life alone. God created us for community - created us to need each other to do life well. He created you that way too.
We weren't created to be good at everything, but we're great at some things. So let's vow to let God use us effectively in those areas, and fill the gaps with His grace and good friends.
Don't complicate your life by wishing you were someone else. Be good at who you are - who God made you to be. Know how God says you are, and trust Him to fill in the gaps. Let go of what you're not, and hold on to what you've got.
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For the mamas do not consist of one type but of many amazingly different kinds. If every mama was crafty, who would organize? If every mama was the life of the party, who would bring meals to the sick? But as it is, God has arranged the mamas, each one of them, as He chose. And they are beautiful, and reflect His grace, when they know it, and walk out life together.
- based off 1 Corinthians 12:14, 17-18
-- Hope For the Weary Mom, chapter 2, page 40-41
My lovely GUM mamas, I pray that you take this to heart today. I pray that you are encouraged on your weary days & that God meets you in the mess. Grab this book, read it, hold the words close to your heart. I would love to talk about this book with you, and encourage you in what your strengths are.
Here are a few other resources of hope for our tired weary hearts :)
Here are a few other resources of hope for our tired weary hearts :)
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| Happy Reading!! |
