Marriage Resources

Last week we had the opportunity to hear from Bob Noonan, a marriage and family counselor, who shared his thoughts on marriage and parenting. It's taken me almost a week to write this post because I've been busy and out of town, but also because its an important topic to me, and I knew I needed to mull it over some more. In the process its changed forms a few times. Know that what is written below comes from deep in my heart.

Here is what I've come up with as the crux of last Thursdays discussion:
If our marriage isn't healthy, then we are going to be raising unhealthy kids.

Plain and simple that's the honest truth. No matter how much we love them and teach them right from wrong and how to be in relationship with others - if we aren't living it out in our daily lives, in our marriage with our spouse, then we aren't doing much at all.

Bob mentioned the percentages of divorce within the church are rising. Does this bother you? It's sobering to me. And not just because Bob shared it, but because I've seen it. In the last 2 years I've know 5 couples who were dealing with major life shattering crisis in their marriage. And it breaks my heart. It's been much too devastating to watch friends walk this dark road for me to not say something now.

Work on your marriage. Now. Don't wait until its so overwhelming you aren't sure you're going to make it to the other side. Don't hide your head and pretend you're immune. We aren't immune because we're believers!

So take a stand. Be proactive. Work on your marriage. Your kids will be blessed because you did.

Here are some of the resources Bob gave us:
Disciplines of a Godly Man by Kent Hughes
Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes
The Seven Desires of Every Heart by Mark Laaser

And the list of five needs for every man and woman from
His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Willard Harley

Men:
Sex (plus affection)
Companionship/friendship
Taking care of her appearance
Partnership in the home (helpmeet)
Appreciation (thank-you’s help)

Women:
Affection (touching)
Communication (talk to me)
Transparency (no secrets)
Financial stability (not wealth)
Commitment (this is permanent)

You can contact Bob Noonan through COD's church office.