Transition to Mommy-hood

I had a friend recently ask me about my transition from full-time work to full-time mom. And I had to stop and pause and think back to almost five years ago. Doing so has created this post and I hope you enjoy it!

My transition was pretty easy. See ever since junior high I've known I was going to be a stay-at-home mom. I vividly remember going to my friends Sarah's house one day after school to work on a project. Both my parents work to send me to private christian schools (an education I am extremely grateful for), so I spent lots of time in after school care until my parents or my older siblings could pick me up when they were done with sports or drama practise or whatever else.

So on this particular day I remember being picked up right after school got out and getting into her moms car as she came through the pick up line. We hopped right in and shared about our days and chatted about this and the other as we drove to her home. When we arrived we went in and (no lie!) had fresh homemade cookies from scratch that were still cooling having been removed from the oven on the way out the door to pick us up. And as I sat right there eating cookies and milk it hit me. I was missing out. I was smart enough at the time to still understand the sacrifice my parents were making for me, but I was missing out! And I decided right then, I would be a stay-at-home mom. Years before the desire to have children had already been growing, but this was new, this was a cognitive decision to make sure that with my best efforts I would stay at home. And then I began praying it. Not regularly mind you, but every so often as another event arrived and I was reminded of what I was missing, I prayed, Lord let me stay home.

This was such a huge issue to me, it was one of the first things Jon and I talked about early on our relationship. By then I knew I need a spouse who felt the same way. I remember bringing the subject up without sharing my heart, and sighing with relief when DH shared, timidly, that he knew he wanted the mother of his children to stay home with them.

By the time I was pregnant and about to hit maternity leave I was working in a fabulous job with great friends and bosses who created a family friendly work environment and hoped I would return to work with baby in tow. And DH and I considered it! It would be the best of both worlds! But somehow, neither of us could go through with it, and we finally notified my employer I wouldn't be returning. It was sad, because I loved the people and the work, but I was easily cheered by some snuggles with my newborn.

So the literal transition from full-time work to 24/7 stay-at-home work was easy so to speak. As easy as sleepless nights, feeding and poop, rinse and repeat can be anyway. But a few more months done the road, was DD1 (Dear Daughter 1) grew into a little person, and the routine became familiar, I remember thinking: what in the world are we going to do all day?

And that's when I got going! I volunteered at church more because I had the time to coordinate, plan and serve during the week. I joined children's classes to find interaction for me and DD1 and to get out of the house. I spent a lot of time looking for free and not-so-free activities for in and out of the home (I'm quite the source should you need some help!). A friend invited me to a moms group and we attended regularly. We fell into a routine and every so often as life happens the routine would jumble and we'd settle back down again someplace new.

Early on I realized I was not super-mom. I needed help, and since I know you're like me to, I'm mostly not worried about admitting it. I needed childcare here and there, I needed advice and encouragement from other moms young and old(er). I needed some alone time, a lot of adult time, and some date time with DH. I realized that even if my kiddos were going crazy at home and driving me nuts, a trip out of the house usually produced better behavior and longer naps! I discovered timing can be everything. A half hour late for nap could be disastrous, and a week late on time with DH makes two cranky parents!

In some ways I'm still adjusting to parent-hood, I don't think you ever really stop, we just keep growing up! But I'm pretty sure it didn't take me long to transition from full-time career to full-time mom. I'm lucky, and I thank the Lord often for allowing me to stay home.

Tell me about your transition: Was it hard, was it easy? What helped? What didn't? Were you a full time working mom when you transitioned to be a stay at home mom? Or where you new to motherhood when you transitioned? Either way, I'm glad we're in it, growing up together!!